Not For Me
by Jeilynn
Summary: After the death of Nuriko Miaka takes things into her own hands in order to keep her remainig warriors alive.


Okay, first of all I do not own these characters they are the property of Ms. Watase. If you happen to be a Miaka fan I suggest you skip this fic.

Lyrics by Sara McLaughlin

Not For Me 

Winter here's cold

And bitter

Chill is to the bone

I haven't seen the sun for weeks

Too long, too far from home

            He eyes are dark and pain filled. Tears stream in unheeded rivers down her face as Miaka raced up the steep slope of the mountain. She needed to get away, away from their pitying looks and all reminders o her now dead friend and protector, Nuriko.

Feels just like I'm sinking'

When I claw for solid ground

I'm pulled don by the undertow

Never thought I could feel so low

            Blinded by the tears and weakened by a pain so fierce that it is almost physical, she loses her footing and stumbles four feet back down the mountain. She cries out in pain as she scrapes her hands and knees on the jagged bits of ice hidden in the snow. The snow, so cold and uncaring. Just like the world that saw fit to steal her friend away.

 "Nuriko…"

            Why did this have to happen? Why Nuriko? Memories of the past few months crashed over Miaka's mind in waves. They were so vivid, so real. If only they would stop!

"No! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Oh darkness I fell like letting go

If all of the strength  and

All of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I could love you much better than this

Full of grace

Full of grace

My love

            Like a distant dream she can hear them. The voices of the remaining Suzaku Seven calling out to her. Yelling for her to come back.

            "Miaka! Miaka!"

            "No. I won't let anymore of them die. Not for me," Miaka said through her tears.

            Staggering, Miaka ran further up the mountain. Her lungs burned with the need for air and  her muscles screamed in agony, but she had to keep moving.

It's better this way, I said

Having seen this place before

Where everything we do and say

Hurts us all the more

            She finally comes to a stop beneath a frozen willow tree. An odd sight for this climate. The sight of the tree only reminded her more of Nuriko. It wasn't fair.

            "It's not fair! He was my friend! How could you?! HOW COULD YOU?! I hate you! I hate you!" she screamed to the sky, herself.

            If it hadn't been for her Nuriko would still be alive. None of this would have happened if she hadn't opened that book.

            She looked up at the gleaming points of the ice cycles hanging from the branches of the tree, and in idea struck her.

It's just that we stay

Too long

In the same old sickening skin

I'm pulled down by the undertow

Never though I could feel so low

            Carefully, Miaka broke a large, sharp ice cycle off the tree. It was the only way. If she wasn't here, no one else would die.

            "Forgive me, my friends. I love you…"

            Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Miaka shoved the blade of ice through her chest.

            At that same moment, Tamahome, and the remaining Suzaku Seven had arrived on the scene. 

            "Miaka!"

            Tamahome moved in a blur of speed and was soon cradling his dieing love in his arms.

            "Miaka…what have you done? Mitsukake! Do something!", Tamahome said, desperation filling his voice.

            The silent healer shook his head. There was nothing he could do. The damage was too great.

            "Forgive me…my love…I won't-I won't let anymore of you…die…not for me…I love you…be happy…"

            With those last words spoken Miaka slumped in Tamahome's arms, dead.

            "Miaka? Mi-MIAKA!!!!!"

            Tamahome's  pain filled cries echoed through the air. The Suzaku Seven stood together in silence, mourning the loss of their Priestess

            And yet, as her warriors mourned her, Miaka felt freed. As her life force slipped away she said a prayer to whoever was listening.

            "Please…protect them...all …let them be happy…Tamahome…I love you…and will always watch over you.

            And then it was done. Darkness consumed what vision she had left and pulled her life force away to that shining place that spirits go when they die.

Oh darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength and

All of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I  can love you much better than this

Full of grace

Full of grace

My love


End file.
